its not stalking. its research.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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