we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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