After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize