So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
