somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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