Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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