I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
