she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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