Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
