You just made me feel so damn special
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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