I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
