I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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