i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
