Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fuck me I smell like cheese
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
