I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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