You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
