Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
