you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
