hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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