he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
