I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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