My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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