You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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