Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
