it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
