His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
