i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Bring me that man meat
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
