; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
