the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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