i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
