There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
