i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You just made me feel so damn special
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
