I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
