I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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