I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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