I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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