Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
