You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
