I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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