hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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