bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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