I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
