Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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