Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
