My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
