You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
