he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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