Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
