The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
