I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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