i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
