M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I could fuck to npr.
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