That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
