I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i would punch a child for taco bell
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
