Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
