I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
