Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my shit smells like andre
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
