mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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