what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
